Let Us Start the Blogging Experience with Something Disgusting

Well, i finally did it. I caved in and decided that i should start posting my lame viewpoints/opinions for the world to see. Granted it's hard to "cave in" when nobody is pressuring you to do something, but never mind that.

Anyways this morning was a little more hectic than normal. First of all, let me tell you that I love waking up to my girlfriend telling me that it is already 8 am. (I have to be at work at 8:30 with about a 20 minute commute). So instead of my normal routine of waking up early enough to catch the last 10 minutes of an episode of Saved by the Bell, i had to wake up, shower, brush my teeth, get dressed and check my fantasy baseball team (i have priorities) in the matter of 10 minutes. It was not ideal. Luckily i was able to get everything accomplished and was on my way. Better yet, there was zero traffic and was making great time. Well until the Nuckols off ramp.

If you have ever experienced the Nuckols off ramp, you know how much of a bitch it is. It has single-handily been the reason for me being late on numerous occasions. Let me give you a brief description of the exit. It's about 3/4 of a mile long that ends at a stop sign. The cross street at this sign is Nuckols road where cars are going about 45 miles an hour and the openings for possible merger onto Nuckols are minimal. Note, there are times when three or four cars can merge during one opening in traffic, but these instances are few and far between. This leads to the exit being backed up by 20 cars every morning. Well this morning was no different...except for one added bonus.

As I am sitting in my car, i glance up at my rear view mirror to see what appears to be a lady scratching her nose and then picking at her teeth. Then i thought to myself, "Maybe she was picking her nose and then eating it." I highly doubted a 30-something, professional would be doing this so I disregarded it and inched the car up the "exit from hell". About 5 seconds later, i look up again and i can clearly see her finger going from her nose and directly to her mouth. But no longer is she taking time between "picks". Now she is furiously digging into her left nostril and then eating the "reward" like she had not had a meal in weeks. (Please note that this "healthy" woman obviously ate well).

So once the left nostril is bare what is a starving woman to do but see what the right nostril is serving up today. She goes after the right nostril with such aggression that I am afraid she is going to hurt herself. Her pointer finger is actually stretching out the nostril she is using so much force. I was expecting that once she removed her finger that a flow of blood we venture down to her lower lip. Alas, nothing but that crusty, disgusting mucous would exit her nose this morning. Now you may wonder why i would be watching this, but remember i am still stuck on the exit ramp and have nothing better to do. It is the perfect example of something being so disgusting you can help but watch. Like people watching those Traces of Death videos...or is it Faces of Death. I don't honestly know.

At this time I am starting to become nauseous. My throat is starting to lubricate(not sexually you asses...saliva is starting to increase) and I am preparing for puking all over my car. I am praying that these cars in front of me start moving because it's going to get ugly. Meanwhile, i keep looking in that damn rear view mirror while this lady is still picking and eating, picking and eating, picking and eating. Knowing that i might not last if i have to endure this disgusting act another minute, I start shaking my head and raising my hands up in that "What the Fuck?" manner, in hopes of embarrassing her to stop. But this lady is so focused on the task at hand that it doesn't even phase her. She just keeps picking and eating.

Finally, I am near the front of the line and am about to merger on Nuckols. Cars are still flying by and finally there is an opening for the car in front of me to go. I disregard the stop sign and as soon as that car takes off, I'm right on their ass and merging on to the road with them. Unfortunately, i leave a little too early and Miss Gold-digger merges in right behind me. Luckily she doesn't stay behind me for long and passes me as I turn left...ending my torture.

So now i wonder, why would an adult still do things that most people stop doing at the age of 6? And how can they be so oblivious and not notice someone watching them do this disgusting act? Ridiculous.

So there it is. My first post and hopefully not my last. Trust me that not all of them will be long, drawn out stories like this. In fact most will be reviews of movies/shows i like. Yeah, I'm a tool. Now off to my first fantasy football draft of the year.