Going into the weekend, my lovable losers were facing elimination from the Dodgers. I tried not to focus on it and instead focused on getting drunk at my buddy Whit's Bachelor Party. Well needless to say I was successful with the getting drunk part. Unfortunately i was not successful with the "not paying attention to the cubs losing" part. So here are a few things i picked up this weekend from watching the Cubs (entire series) and attending a bachelor party with 12 guys in AC....
1. Cubs batters may be the most impatient hitters i have ever seen. Take a fucking pitch PLEASE. How great was it that the guy who strikes out the most for us, Soriano, was the guy who struck out to officially eliminate us. Soriano, you should not be a leadoff hitter. TheRIOT should be our number one.
2. With 12 guys at a bachelor party there is bound to be some nasty porn flying around. Oh there was...more on that later
3. This off season the team needs to work on the control of ALL pitchers. Harden and Zambrano should be dominate, but they walked to many batters. Dempster's walk problem was a fluke in my opinion.
4. Have you ever seen a midget get fucked in a 3-point stance? I have.
5. Errors killed us in game 2. That was definitely winnable. Zambrano pitched halfway decent. The infield had an error at EACH position...Even Derrek Lee!
6. Best line from a porno ever..."I'm 72 years old. I feel like I am 25 years old and I'm going to get two dicks in me at the same time for the first time." Yes, it was grandma porn. (this line was quoted by myself numerous times during the weekend)
7. FuckUDome should not have started a single game this series. He has been struggling so much the past two months. Why would Pinella think he would turn it around during the first postseason he has participated in?
8. Fat Girls Need To Pee To---Enough said.
9. I want Fontenot as a regular starter. He's Scrappy.
10. Finally, it was a successful weekend since we made the bachelor puke at least one! Good Times.
1. Cubs batters may be the most impatient hitters i have ever seen. Take a fucking pitch PLEASE. How great was it that the guy who strikes out the most for us, Soriano, was the guy who struck out to officially eliminate us. Soriano, you should not be a leadoff hitter. TheRIOT should be our number one.
2. With 12 guys at a bachelor party there is bound to be some nasty porn flying around. Oh there was...more on that later
3. This off season the team needs to work on the control of ALL pitchers. Harden and Zambrano should be dominate, but they walked to many batters. Dempster's walk problem was a fluke in my opinion.
4. Have you ever seen a midget get fucked in a 3-point stance? I have.
5. Errors killed us in game 2. That was definitely winnable. Zambrano pitched halfway decent. The infield had an error at EACH position...Even Derrek Lee!
6. Best line from a porno ever..."I'm 72 years old. I feel like I am 25 years old and I'm going to get two dicks in me at the same time for the first time." Yes, it was grandma porn. (this line was quoted by myself numerous times during the weekend)
7. FuckUDome should not have started a single game this series. He has been struggling so much the past two months. Why would Pinella think he would turn it around during the first postseason he has participated in?
8. Fat Girls Need To Pee To---Enough said.
9. I want Fontenot as a regular starter. He's Scrappy.
10. Finally, it was a successful weekend since we made the bachelor puke at least one! Good Times.
